Sunday, June 7, 2015
Week 1 - Post Lori
Psalms 119:28 My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your Word
At 5:51pm this afternoon, it made a week since Lori went home to be with Jesus. It has not been an easy week, but I took one day at a time...trusting and knowing that Lori's eternity is well!
Lori would have been 47 on June 2. I bought her favorite, tulips and created this memorial to her...in human's life expectancy, that seems short...considering that the average age of females these days extends into 70's-80's...but Lori's time here on earth was temporal but well lived. I have no doubt that God' sovereign nature, His will has been done for our good..and for Lori's good...she's with Jesus, how much more better can that be.
As I spent this week, without my wife for the first time in 25+ years, there were very emotional moments. When a song would pop up, or something I would see would remind me of her, or just something...I would start to just cry...but then a joy, a peace would overcome that grief, as whatever was in front of me reminded me of the glory of God in her and through her. God's word implanted on my heart over the years of spending time, personal time with Him, reminds me of so many of God's assurances, hopes and promises. And the main one was faith, faith in Him, knowing that as my Lord and Savior, I will see Lori one day again. But more importantly I will be with God.
It has been a busy week, but yet restful. Planning her services was so blessed..everything that she wants done will be done in the service, this Saturday, June 13 at New Hope Oahu. It was also our Kamehameha Schools reunion week. As it was our 29th year, we were the hosts of the reunion for the class of 1985 celebrating their 30th. Our class was responsible for the entire luau and thank God for leaders in our class, one in particular Lynn Makua Akeo, who allowed God to use her mightily as she took on this huge tasks to lead our class. I was blessed to reconnect with so many friends, some of whom I have known for more than 30 years now (since we were 14) or to reconnect with someone like Alan Young, who I have known since preschool...thru our senior in high school..now that's knowing someone for a long time. My classmates were so supportive and I was blessed to be just loved on by them.
And then there was today at my church, my extended ohana New Hope Aloha Pau'ole. I just made a year as an associate pastor at New Hope Aloha Pau'ole and have been blessed by our church plant over the last 2.5 years...but today, I was asked to share the final stage of Lori's temporal life with our church ohana, who like Brandi, me and our families are all grieving and processing the loss of Lori. I was blessed to share the final day of Lori, to share how she lived an Aloha Pau'ole kind of love...never ending for all those around her, near and far. When we planted Aloha Pau'ole back in September 2012, God gave us this mission:
"We are committed to loving God and advancing His kingdom by loving people to a place of freedom"
That mission statement was birthed in a hotel room with our core leadership and our spouses, and back then it was words..words that was so profound that when we read it out loud individually, and then together, we knew that it was Holy Spirit filled, but more importantly, it was something that we could strive to live out..and in the process of Lori's battle with this awful disease, we, her, I, Brandi, the core team...learned how to love each other with God's love..we are by no means there yet, not even close...we are not "completed yet", that will never happen till we go home, but we have learned to live out that mission statement and many who have blessed us with their Aloha Pau'ole love, the love that never ends..God's love..Love that when perfected in Christ, casts out all fear...that love has allowed Lori to be free in Christ and has allowed many, including me, to be on the road to freedom in Christ.
As I shared in my last post...I am not okay...yet..but day by day, I am getting there. And there is a huge spectrum of what "Okay" looks like...but in the eyes of the Lord I am His child and He has Aloha Pau'ole love for me and because of that, I will be okay.
Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you all. It helps me to process out some of what I am going through. To God be the glory in all things and God bless you all!!
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Tears, love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAloha Sean! Your words hit my heart, and I'm blessed that you share this time with us, through your tears and your pains. God has graced you with many to lean on at this time… and it's my hope as each day passes, that He will grace you with healing, peace and comfort as well. We are with you and will continue to pray over you and the ohana. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLove you brother,
ReplyDeleteBryan Luke